|
Webster’s
Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines charisma as “a personal magic of
leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public
figure.”
Charisma is also that special quality of magnetism that each person has and
that each person uses to a certain degree. You have a special charisma to
the people who look up to you, who respect and admire you, the members of
your family and your friends and coworkers. Whenever and wherever a person
feels a positive emotion toward another, he imbues that person with
charisma, or attractiveness.
In trying to explain charisma, some people speak of an “aura.” This aura is
a light that is invisible to most people, but not to everyone, and that
radiates out from a person and affects the people around that person in a
positive or negative way. The halo around the heads of saints and mystics
in many religious paintings was the artist’s attempt to depict the light
that people reported seeing around the heads of these men and women when
they were speaking or praying, or in an intense emotional state.
You also have an aura around you that most people cannot see but that is
there, nevertheless. This aura affects the way people react and respond to
you, either positively or negatively. There is a lot that you can do, and a
lot of good reasons for you to do it, to control this aura and make it work
in your best interests.
If you’re in sales, this aura, reflecting your level of charisma, can have
a major impact on the way your prospects and customers treat you and deal
with you. Top salespeople seem to be far more successful than the average
salespeople in getting along with their customers. They’re always more
welcome, more positively received and more trusted than the others. They
sell more, and they sell more easily. They make a better living, and they
build better lives. Salespeople with charisma get far more pleasure out of
their work and suffer far less from stress and rejection. The charismatic
salesperson is almost invariably a top performer in his field and enjoys
all the rewards that go with superior sales.
If you’re in business, developing greater charisma can help you
tremendously in working with your staff, your suppliers, your bankers, your
customers and everyone else upon whom you depend for your success. People
seem naturally drawn to those who possess charisma. They want to help them
and support them. When you have charisma, people will open doors for you
and bring you opportunities that otherwise would not have been available to
you.
In your personal relationships, the quality of charisma can make your life
more joyous, happier. People will naturally want to be around you. Members
of your family and your friends will be far happier in your company, and
you will have a greater influence on them, causing them to feel better
about themselves and to do better at the important things in their lives.
There is a close association between personal charisma and success in life.
Probably 85 percent of your success and happiness will come from your
relationships and interactions with others. The more positively others
respond to you, the easier it will be for you to get the things you want.
In essence, when we discuss charisma, we are talking about the law of
attraction. This law has been stated in many different ways down through
the centuries, but it basically says that you inevitably attract into your
life the people and circumstances that harmonize with your dominant
thoughts.
In a sense, you are a living magnet, and you are constantly radiating
thought waves, like a radio station radiates sound waves, that are picked
up by other people. Your thoughts, intensified by your emotions, as radio
waves are intensified by electric impulses, go out from you and are picked
up by anyone who is tuned in to a similar wavelength. You then attract into
your life people, ideas, opportunities, resources, circumstances and
anything else that is consistent with your dominant frame of mind.
The law of attraction also explains how you can build up your levels of
charisma so that you can have a greater and more positive impact on the
people whose cooperation, support and affection you desire. The critical
thing to remember about charisma is that it is largely based on perception.
It is based on what people think about you. It is not so much reality as it
is what people perceive you to be. For example, one person can create
charisma in another person by speaking in glowing terms about that person
to a third party. If you believe that you are about to meet an outstanding
and important person, that person will tend to have charisma for you.
One of the most charismatic people in the world today is Mother Teresa of
Calcutta. In a physical sense, she is a quiet, elderly, frail woman in poor
health, and she wears a modest nun’s habit. She might be ignored by a
person passing her on the street, were it not for the tremendous charisma
she has developed and for the fact that her appearance is so well-known to
so many people as a result.
If someone told you that he was going to introduce you to a brilliant,
self-made millionaire who was very quiet and unassuming about his success,
you would almost naturally imbue that person with charisma, and in his
presence, you would not act the same as you would if you had been told
nothing at all. Charisma begins largely in the mind of the beholder.
Of course, lasting charisma depends more upon the person you really are
than upon just the things you do. Nevertheless, you can build the
perception of charisma for yourself by utilizing the 10 great powers of
personality that seem to have a major impact on the way that people think
and feel about you.
The first of these powers is the power of purpose. Men and women with
charisma and personal magnetism almost invariably have a clear vision of
who they are, of where they’re going and of what they’re trying to achieve.
Leaders in sales and management have a vision of what they’re trying to
create and why they’re doing what they’re doing. They’re focused on
accomplishing some great purpose. They’re decisive about every aspect of
their lives. They know exactly what they want and what they have to do to
get it. They plan their work and work their plan.
In more than 3,300 studies of leadership, in every book and article ever
written on leadership, the quality of purpose, or vision, was one of the
few qualities that was consistently used in describing leaders.
You can increase your charisma and the magnetism of your personality by
setting clear goals for yourself, making plans to achieve them, and working
on your plans with discipline and determination every day. The whole world
seems to move aside for the person who knows exactly where he is going. In
fact, the clearer you are about your purposes and goals, the more likely
people will be to attribute other positive qualities to you. They will see
you, or perceive you, as being a better and more admirable human being. And
when you have clear goals, you begin attracting to yourself the people and
opportunities necessary to make those goals a reality.
The second personality power is self-confidence. Men and women with
charisma have an intense belief in themselves and in what they are doing.
They are usually calm, cool and composed about themselves and their work.
Your level of self-confidence is often demonstrated in your courage, your
willingness to do whatever is necessary to achieve a purpose that you
believe in.
People are naturally attracted to those who exude a sense of
self-confidence, those who have an unshakable belief in their ability to
rise above circumstances to attain their goals.
One of the ways you demonstrate self-confidence is by assuming that people
naturally like you and accept you and want to do business with you. For
example, one of the most powerful ways to close a sale is simply to assume
that the prospect has decided to purchase the product or service, and then
go on to wrap up the details. One of the best ways to achieve success in
your relationships is to assume that people naturally enjoy your company
and want to be around you, and then proceed on that basis. The very act of
behaving in a self-confident manner will generate personal charisma in the
eyes of others.
The third power you can develop is enthusiasm. The more excited you are
about accomplishing something that is important to you, the more excited
others will be about helping you to do it. The fact is that emotions are
contagious. The more passion you have for your life and your activities,
the more charisma you will possess, and the more cooperation you will gain
from others. Every great man or woman has been totally committed to a noble
cause and, as a result, has attracted the support and encouragement of
others, in many cases, thousands or millions of others.
The fourth personality power that you can develop is expertise, or competence.
The more knowledgeable you are perceived to be in your field, the more
charisma you will have among those who respect and admire that knowledge
because of the impact it can have on their lives. This is also the power of
excellence, of being recognized by others as an outstanding performer in
your field. Men and women who do their jobs extremely well and who are
recognized for the quality of their work are those who naturally attract
the help and support of others. They have charisma.
The fifth power of personality that gives you charisma in the eyes of
others is thorough preparation, detailed preparation, prior to undertaking
any significant task. Whether you are calling on a prospect, meeting with
your boss, giving a public talk or making any other kind of presentation,
when you are well-prepared, it becomes clear to everyone. The careers of
many young people are put onto the fast track as a result of their coming
to an important meeting after having done all their homework.
Whether it takes you hours or even days, if an upcoming meeting or
interaction is important, take the time to get on top of your subject. Be
so thoroughly prepared that nothing can faze you. Think through and
consider every possibility and every ramification. Often, this effort to be
fully prepared will do more to generate the respect of others than anything
else you can do.
Remember that the power is always on the side of the person who has done
the most preparation and has the best notes. Everything counts. Leave
nothing to chance. When you do something related to your work or career,
take the time to do it right, in advance.
The sixth power that gives you charisma is self-reliance, or
self-responsibility. The most successful men and women in America are
intensely self-reliant. They look to themselves for the answers to their
questions and problems. They never complain, and they never explain. They
take complete ownership of projects. They volunteer for duties and step
forward and accept accountability when things go wrong.
An amazing facet of human nature is that when you behave in a completely
self-reliant manner, others will often be eager to help you achieve your
goals. But if you seem to need the help and support of others, people will
avoid you or do everything possible not to get involved with you.
One of the most admirable qualities of leaders, which lends a person
charisma in the perception of others, is the capacity to step forward and
take charge. The leader accepts complete responsibility for getting the job
done, without making excuses and blaming anyone. When you become completely
self-reliant, you experience a tremendous sense of control and power that
enhances your feeling of well-being and that generates the charisma that is
so important to you in attracting the help of others.
The seventh personality power is image. There is both interpersonal image
and intrapersonal image. Intrapersonal image, or self-image, is the way you
see yourself and think about yourself in any situation. This self-image has
an inordinate impact on the way you perform and on the way others see you
and think about you. Your self-image plays an important part in your
charisma.
The other type of image is interpersonal. This is the image or appearance
that you convey to others. The way you look on the outside has an
inordinate impact on the way people treat you and respond to you.
Successful
men and women are very aware of how they are coming across to others. They
take a good deal of time to think through every aspect of their external
appearance to assure that it is helping them rather than hurting them.
Remember that everything counts. If an element of your image is not
building your charisma and your respect in the eyes of another person, it
is lowering your charisma and your respect. Nothing is neutral. Everything
is taken into the equation. Everything counts.
The three primary factors in personal appearance are clothes, grooming and
accessories. Select your clothes with care. Before you go to an important
meeting, stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself, “Do I look like one
of the best people in my field?” If you don’t feel that you look like one
of the best people in your business, go back to the closet and change.
Look at the most successful people in your area of endeavor. What do they
wear? How do they dress? How do they wear their hair? What kind of
accessories do they use? Pattern yourself after the winners in your field,
the people who already have personal magnetism and charisma. If you do what
they do, over and over, you will eventually get the same results that they
get.
The eighth form of personal power is character, or integrity. Men and women
who possess the kind of charisma that arouses the enthusiastic support of
others are invariably men and women with high values and principles. They
are extremely realistic and honest with themselves and others. They have
very clear ideals, and they continually aspire to live up to the highest
that is in them. They speak well of people, and they guard their
conversation, knowing that everything that they say is being remembered and
recorded. They are aware that everything they do is contributing to the
formation of their perception by others. Everything about their character
is adding to or detracting from their level of charisma.
When you think of the most important men and women of any time, you think
of men and women who aspired to greatness and who had high values for
themselves and high expectations of others. When you make the decision to
act consistent with the highest principles that you know, you begin to
develop charisma. You begin to become the kind of person others admire and
respect and want to emulate. You begin to attract into your life the help
and support and encouragement of the kind of people you admire. You activate
the law of attraction in the very best way.
The ninth power of personality is self-discipline, or self-mastery. Men and
women of charisma are highly controlled. They have a tremendous sense of
inner calm and outer resolve. They are well-organized, and they demonstrate
willpower and determination in everything they do.
The very act of being well-organized, of having clear objectives and of
having set clear priorities on your activities before beginning, gives you
a sense of discipline and control. It causes people to respect and admire
you.
When you
then exert your self-discipline by persisting in the face of difficulties,
your charisma rating goes up. Men and women who achieve leadership positions,
who develop the perception of charisma in others, are invariably those who
possess indomitable willpower and the ability to persist in a good cause
until success is achieved. The more you persist when the going gets rough,
the more self-discipline and resolve you develop, and the more charisma you
tend to have.
The tenth power that you can develop, which underlies all of the other
powers that lead to charisma, is result-orientation. In the final analysis,
people ascribe charisma to those men and women who they feel can most
enable them to achieve important goals or objectives.
We develop great perceptions of those men and women we can count on to help
us achieve what is important to us. Men and women who make great sales, or
who establish admirable sales records, develop charisma in the minds and
hearts of their coworkers and superiors. They are spoken about in the most
positive way. Men and women who are responsible for companies or
departments that achieve high levels of profitability also develop
charisma.
They develop
what is called the “halo effect.” They are perceived by others to be
extraordinary men and women who are capable of great things. Their
shortcomings are often overlooked, while their strong points are
overemphasized. They become charismatic.
Charisma actually comes from working on yourself. It comes from liking and
accepting yourself unconditionally as you do and say the specific things
that develop within you a powerful, charismatic personality.
When you set clear goals and become determined and purposeful, backing
those goals with unshakable self-confidence, you develop charisma. When you
are enthusiastic and excited about what you are doing, when you are totally
committed to achieving something worthwhile, you radiate charisma.
When you take the time to
study and become an expert at what you do, and then prepare thoroughly for
any opportunity to use your knowledge, skill or experience, the perception
that others have of you goes straight up. When you take complete responsibility
and accept ownership, without making excuses or blaming others, you
experience a sense of control that leads to the personal power that is the
foundation of charisma. When you look like a winner in every respect, when
you have the kind of external image that others admire, you build your
charisma. When you develop your character by setting high standards and
then disciplining yourself to live consistent with the highest principles
you know, you become the kind of person who is admired and respected everywhere.
You become the kind of person who radiates charisma to others. Finally,
when you concentrate your energies on achieving the results that you have
been hired to accomplish, the results that others expect of you, you
develop the reputation for performance and achievement that inevitably
leads to the perception of charisma.
You can develop the kind of charisma that opens doors for you by going to
work on yourself, consistently and persistently, and becoming the kind of
person everyone can admire and look up to. That’s what charisma is all
about.
|